Fooling Around

Martin Wainwright on some of the silliest April Fool tricks
"Ever since the 1840s, when the Boston Post persuaded hundreds of readers to go searching for a hoard of pirate treasure in the pouring rain, we have been suckers for an April Fool. And from Panorama's spaghetti trees to Google's spoof moon base, the media has been happy to oblige them. As the big day looms, Martin Wainwright recalls some of the silliest tricks "

Easter Is Almost Here

I'd better get on it stat. Matthew Mead Productions, Inc. has all sorts of great entertaining and decorating ideas, like this sweet little bunny planter. Beats that ugly chocolate Jesus, that's for sure.

Via Desire To Inspire , one of my favourite design sites.

Moscow at Night

A collection of photos of Moscow at Night.

Give Me A Hint Mr. Harper

I've been asked to work on a federal election campaign in a riding where the NDP candidate has a very good shot at winning. The party lost by only a few percentage points there last time. Of course I want to work it but, because we don't have set election dates at the federal level, it's really hard to commit. The Toronto Star is pushing the idea of a mid-April call which is when I am leaving for Sicily. The Globe agrees that an election call may be imminent but also speculates Harper may wait until December or even decide to hold off until after the 2008 federal budget. Who knows what I'll be doing then? For all I know I could be part of the first colony of Canadians on Mars. Personally I believe that Canadians don't want another election right now. Harper et al. may be riding high in the polls but they may want to look at the slapdown Ontario voters gave Premier Peterson in 1990 when he called an early election to take advantage of the numbers.
Oh well, I might as well pull out my List of political catch phrases just to make sure I'll be ready whenever it happens.

Where Did I Park My Effing Car?

When the weather is inclement Mr. Nag does the gentlemanly thing and lets me off at the entrance of the mall and goes off to park the car. When it's time to leave he can never remember where he left the car. I think it's time for me to buy him one of these: My Lil Reminder - The Easy Way to Remember Everything!


It would also be handy for finding his effing keys which tend to disappear every time we go out, causing much cussing. Ditto his effing glasses.

How to Get Rid of Stuff

This handy site tells you how to rid your life of everything from urine odours to pesky in-laws.

Via Presurfer

Free Shaquanda Cotton!

Texas Teen's Imprisonment Sparks Protests
"Civil rights activists are rallying around a 15-year-old black girl who has been in a high-security juvenile detention center for a year for shoving a hall monitor at her school and whose sentence was just extended for what authorities call possession of contraband: an extra pair of socks and a plastic foam cup."

Did they think she was going to tie the two socks together and use them as a rope to escape her prison cell? Perhaps she was going to tear jagged edges on the foam cup and shank some muthafucka?

The Texas prison system grew faster than any other prison system in the country during the 1990s, adding nearly one out of every 5 prisoners to the nation's prison boom. How did they do this? By incarcerating one shoving, sock wearing, foam cup carrying badass at a time.

MC Rove

Straight Outta Congress is the Guardian story about Rove's pathetic performance.

Veggie Art

: www.frogview.com - vegetables that are way too cute to eat.

A Spoonful Of Sugar Helps The Meth Go Down

Officials: 'Meth Candy' Targets Young Users
Coloring and a candy flavoring added to the drug methamphetamine are part of a disturbing ploy to make the drug more appealing to younger users, according to authorities.

Via Warren Ellis

Larger Than Life

stromdotcom posted an interesting collection of photos of giant sized replicas of everyday objects. Most are located in the States but he included the Big Nickel in Sudbury, ON. Here's the very Big Apple in Colborne, ON that we pass every time we drive to Montreal. Maybe next time I'll pull over and burrow my way into the core like a worm and emerge with an apple pie.

This is Outrageous

No Easter parade for Ed the Sock:
Ed the Sock has been declared footwear non grata by the Toronto Beaches Lions Club.
The cigar-chomping, trash-talking, gravel-voiced puppet and Liana K, co-host of Ed & Red's Night Party! were to have been grand marshals at the Lions' annual Easter Parade.

For All You Dog Lovers

Check out the Daily Puppy on my sidebar. Maybe now Mr. Nag will read my blog. On second thought, maybe I don't want that.

For All You Cat Lovers

The excellent mental_floss magazine brings us stories of feline role models that will inspire your kitties.

A Hidden Picasso

A Hidden Picasso Exhibition Feature at The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Click on the picture to see the show:

Explore the behind-the-scenes story of how art conservators discovered a hidden painting by Pablo Picasso and what the image reveals about the 19-year-old Picasso who painted it. This interactive program includes rarely seen photographs and drawings by the young artist, archival footage of Paris in 1900, and interviews with conservator Will Shank.

Via Metafilter

Toys That Should Not Exist

Toys of questionable taste Via Everlasting Blort

Delusional Calgaria

Delusional Calgaria is a recently diagnosed condition that affects people who have left Nova Scotia for the draw of a big salary in Calgary. You may already be suffering and not even know it. Read on to discover the symptoms.

Delusional Calgaria via Metafilter

Do-It-Yourself Attack Ad Kit!

Hey kids! You know those rabid, virulently negative political ads you see on tv? Have you ever wanted to make one of your own, but didn't know how?

In just four simple steps you can be slinging mud with the best of them!

Do-It-Yourself Attack Ad Kit! via BuzzFeed

Have Your Wine and Eat It Too

Dairy Creates Wine-Flavored Ice Cream:

"A central New York dairy is raising eyebrows with their latest creation: wine-flavored ice cream.

After about two years of product development, Boonville's Mercer's Ice Cream has created ice cream in three different wine flavors. There's Ala Port Wine, Peachy White Zinfandel and Red Raspberry Chardonnay."

With an alcohol content of 5% this is an adult only dessert.
Via Blog On a Toothpick

Butterfly Crossing

Motorway shut to let butterflies swarm past
"In the history of road transport, there can rarely have been such a poetic excuse for a traffic jam: Taiwan will close a busy motorway section this week to allow butterflies to flutter by."

I'd like to be there to see it.

I KILLED MY NAG WIFE

More than a couple of you were drawn to my blog today looking for details relating to the following bone chilling headline:

I KILLED MY NAG WIFE

Don't break out the champagne just yet. While Mr. Nag certainly has ample cause to off me, he has (so far) resisted the urge. I live to nag again.

Making Pancakes

A fix for all you pancake addicts.

Via Metafilter

Knut Is Cute

Has anyone else been following this story?

"The Berlin zoo's polar bear cub Knut made its first public appearance today. Fascination with him has grown in recent days, when an animal activist insisted that the cub would have been better off dead than raised by humans. After giving birth last year, his mother abandoned Knut and his twin brother. The keepers rescued them and raised the cubs themselves. Only Knut survived after spending 44 days in an incubator."
See more photos of Knut the polar bear

Répétez après moi

A French language lesson from Why Travel To France:

Il pète plus haut que son cul. / He is pretentious.
(literal: He farts higher than his ass.)

Il est coiffé comme un dessous de bras. / He’s having a bad hair day. (His hair is dressed like an armpit.)

J’ai la tête dans le cul ce matin. / I have a lot of trouble waking up this morning.
(My head is in my ass this morning.)

Il faut que j’aille couler un bronze. / I need to take a dump.
(I need to cast a bronze sculpture.)

Il secoue le poireau. / He’s masturbating. (He’s shaking the leek.)

Il va degorger le poireau. / He’s going to piss.
(He’s going to squeeze out the leek.)

Il branle le mammouth. / He procrastinates.
(He jerks off the mammoth.)

Il se fait des couilles en or. / He makes a lot of money.
(He is making himself golden balls.)

Cette fille, c’est un thon. / That girl is very ugly.
(This girl is a tuna fish.)

Il n’a jamais trempé son biscuit. / He is still a virgin.
(He has never dipped his cookie.)

Il nous en chie une pendule. / He’s making a big fuss about it.
(He’s sh*tting a wall clock about it.)

Il nous en chie une pendule à treize coups. / He’s making a VERY big fuss about it.
(He’s sh*tting a thirteen-stroke wall clock about it.)

C’est un enculeur de mouches. / He’s a nitpicker.
(He BFs the flies.)

Il a le cul bordé de nouilles. / He is extremely lucky.
(He has noodles all around his ass.)

Il chie de la broue. / he’s lying.
(Brew is coming out of his ass.)

I fear I'll never master French colloquialisms. I have to keep reminding myself to focus on bodily functions.

Think You Know Wine?

Answer these questions correctly to Win a year's supply of fine wine via Independent Online

1. The sweet wine tokay is from which country?

2. What grape variety makes classic sweet wines in Bordeaux?

3. Which liqueur when mixed with wine makes Kir?

4. What is the grape variety in Pouilly Fume?

5. What is the term for a wine bottle with a capacity four times larger than that of a typical bottle?

6. Which Portuguese island in the Atlantic gives its name to a fortified wine and a type of cake?

7. What is the name for the traditional wine made from honey, yeast and water?

8. Manzanilla and Amontillado are styles of what drink?

9. The literal translation for brandy is “burnt wine”; in which language?

10. In which month is beaujolais nouveau released for consumption?

(I didn't know 4 or 9)

Art of War

Art of War:

www.picassodreams.com

Via Grow a Brain

Valley of the Temples

Agrigento, view of Temple Concord and catacomb-lined ridge
I'm looking forward to seeing this when I travel to Sicily next month.

This digital collection has loads of photos of places.

Via Ursi's blog

::: Alaska and Western Canada Collection :::

::: Alaska and Western Canada Collection ::::

"The Alaska and Western Canada collection is a digital collection of historic photographs documenting the geographic area of Alaska and the Canadian provinces of Yukon Territory and British Columbia. The collection features images of the Seward Peninsula, the Aleutian Islands, and areas of interest in Alaska and the Yukon Territory relating to the Gold Rush of 1898-1900. Included also are images of mining activities, street scenes, Eskimo and Native Americans of the region, hunting and fishing, transportation, and World War II installations. Because new images will added to the digital collection, the database will be updated periodically. In addition, our staff will continue to update the information attached to each image as new research alters the descriptive records."

Via Plep

I Like the Elephant

Via Notcot

Icon War

Icon War
I knew that Diablo guy was trouble right from the start.

Via the cool and prolific Neatorama

Carniceria Store Paintings

"It's my love of the carniceria store paintings. I've always had a fascination with them ever since I was a little kid. Seeing these somewhat surreal and fanciful paintings depicting the foods that I would be eating later that day. Taco stands, bars and restaurants will make there way on this site as well. This is my tribute to those paintings and the artists that made them. Bon apetit!"

Thank you, Grow a Brain , for introducing me to SO BAD ITS GOOD

Don't Read Bourgeois Newspapers

I think I am blind and deaf and ashamed that I read abominable bourgeois rags.

Thank you Wood's Lot

Binh Danh's Chlorophyll Art

One Week's Dead

Binh Danh's Chlorophyll Art : "When Binh Danh prints pictures on leaves, something inexplicable happens. His small, green canvases expand beyond measure with both the seen and the unseen. The serenity of the Buddha on a circular nasturtium suggests a primordial, benevolent world; armed soldiers in camouflage, crouched in calla lily foliage, appear to be both predator and prey; and a young Vietnamese boy, held in the fingered palm of a philodendron, aches with human vulnerability.

As a photographer, Binh Danh has found that chlorophyll prints capture his belief in the interconnectedness of the natural world. One of his pictures features soldiers in the jungle; their image is printed on a very long, tropical leaf. 'In a way,' he says, 'the soldiers in their camouflage uniforms are becoming one with the landscape.' He also makes poignant use of leaves that are marred by insects or scarred by weather, which he finds add a sense of injury and decay to his prints. "





For this I am grateful to Exploding Aardvark.

Some Unique Takes on the Federal Budget

Scott Feschuk finishes the sentences in Jim Flaherty’s budget speech (ah it's so much clearer now):

• We need to make it more affordable for people to have children… which is why, effective immediately, we’re introducing a tax credit to cover the cost of dinner, a box of wine and a Barry White CD.
• We want cleaner water. We also want cleaner air... some want cleaner, whiter sheets. But what of those of us who seek only hugs? Mr. Speaker, effective immediately we’re introducing a tax credit to…
• Mr. Speaker, it is time to help people over the welfare wall… and into our specially designed holding pens, where they will be kept until the alien parasite inside "Peter MacKay" demands a new host. Read it all...

Avery Ant also gives us his unique insect spin:

How Well Do You Know Neil?

I know him pretty well. Try the Quiz

You scored 9 out of 10.

You tore through that like a hurricane. Keep on rockin’ in the free world.

But How Much Does It Get To The Gallon?

Houses cheaper than cars in Detroit
As Detroit reels from job losses in the U.S. auto industry, the depressed city has emerged as a boomtown in one area: foreclosed property.

Remember the good old days when the homeless lived in their cars? Well folks, it appears that those days are gone forever. We are entering an era where the carless will have to start driving their houses.

The Wurstminster Dog Show

I love it:
Artists were invited to reserve a dog breed on a first come, first served basis. the only requirement was that the artist attempt to capture the look and spirit of their chosen breed in their own unique way.
Below is a flat coated retriever like my dog, Max. Painted by Toronto artist stephanie davidson


Via gmtPlus9

The Gloves Are Off

Cat fight alert!
Lady Black, in most unladylike fashion, calls the press "vermin, slut. "
Rosie DiManno, girl reporter, retaliates by referring to Amiel as "dessicated" and "aged cheddar".
Rosie has middle age on her side and a definite weight advantage but Babs, despite being a wedge of dessicated cheese, is sly and has been known to fight dirty. I can't decide which of these dames to place my money on.

Who Doesn't Need One of These?

The spoon is still in the testing stage but they have a store where you can buy USB Absinthe fairy t shirts and stickers and stuff.

Via Linkfilter

Anti Scab Rally

My buddy, Uncorrected Proofs, had a little get together on the weekend with Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Read about it...

4th Anniversary

MARCH 19, 2003: Bush launches invasion of Iraq.

Text of a Letter from the President to the Speaker of the House of Representatives and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate

March 18, 2003

Dear Mr. Speaker: (Dear Mr. President:)
Consistent with section 3(b) of the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 (Public Law 107-243), and based on information available to me, including that in the enclosed document, I determine that:
(1) reliance by the United States on further diplomatic and other peaceful means alone will neither (A) adequately protect the national security of the United States against the continuing threat posed by Iraq nor (B) likely lead to enforcement of all relevant United Nations Security Council resolutions regarding Iraq; and
(2) acting pursuant to the Constitution and Public Law 107-243 is consistent with the United States and other countries continuing to take the necessary actions against international terrorists and terrorist organizations, including those nations, organizations, or persons who planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001.

Sincerely,
GEORGE W. BUSH

Need More Love

Aileen Crumb's graphic memoir - a slideshow.

(I have a nice image but Blogger won't let me show it to you.)

Dance Moves: An Emergency Guide for Men

Dance Moves: An Emergency Guide for Men

via Cynical-C Blog

Havaria Information Systems AlertMap

Shows disaster events in almost real time. There's an amazing amount of stuff going down out there!
Via Metafilter

PULP FICTION POSTCARDS!

** DIGITAL PULP FICTION ECARD POSTCARDS! **

The Hippie Museum

Peace, Love and Learning Via Everlasting Blort

Cannabis: An apology

Independent "More than 22,000 people were treated last year for cannabis addiction - and almost half of those affected were under 18. With doctors and drugs experts warning that skunk can be as damaging as cocaine and heroin, leading to mental health problems and psychosis for thousands of teenagers, The Independent on Sunday has today reversed its landmark campaign for cannabis use to be decriminalised."

And The Wall Of Sound Came Tumbling Down

I'd just been wondering what was going on with the Phil Spector murder case. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't losing sleep over it or anything, I was just mildly curious. Spector is clearly a very troubled individual but he created some of my favourite music. When I was a pre-teen the Ronettes ruled and I admit that I still love all that wall of sound stuff. Now it looks like he's about to face the music.
Here's a slideshow that gives you an inkling of what it was all about (but it doesn't explain that weird hair).

More on the Spector case here.

Which Sports Car Are You?

Which Sports Car Are You? (Version 2.0)

You're an American classic -- fast, strong, and bold. You're not snobby or pretentious, but you have what it takes to give anyone a run for their money.

I'm sort of insulted. I see myself as something more sleek and European. The boys I went to high school with drove Mustangs and they were mostly dorks..

Via Karen who is both cute and stylish ( according to this quiz).

Snakes On An Island

St. Patrick vs Samuel L. Jackson.

A wee bit of celtic humour from Mental Floss

The Leprechaun Watch

The leprechaun Irish fairy watch camera is in a hidden location in a field overlooking a fairy ring in Tipperary.

Via Information Junk

Buildings of Lanark County

Via Plep, a collection of the buildings of Lanark County (otherwise known as the home of the Nag's sister).

On S'embrasse?

Can We Kiss, a sweet little film.

Via Presurfer

Wear The Chairman On Your Sleeve

Authentic Chairman Mao memorabilia from the Cultural Revolution fashioned into cufflinks!
Stylish, unique and certain to be the topic of conversation! Each pair is unique and special - no two pairs are alike! These pins are original and special. These are made EXCLUSIVE for The East is Red and come with a Certificate of authentication in a special red box. We have different styles of cufflinks available, all with Chairman Mao.

Via Grow-a-Brain

The Nag Borne on the Shoulders of Two Hunks - Not As Good As It Sounds

This Rosalyn Drexler piece is great. Unfortunately it reminds me of a situation in which I found myself long ago in a far off land. Mr. Nag and I were in a charming small hotel in a southern Portuguese town. I mentioned to the owner, an Englishman, that I'd had some delightful brandy earlier that evening.

He poured me a glass and asked. "Was it like this?"

"Not quite," I responded.

"Maybe it was like this?" he inquired as he poured another glass.

"I don't think so," I answered.

Ever helpful, he poured another glass but it likewise didn't have that je ne sais quoi that made the original so special.

He continued to pour; I continued to reply in the negative.

After I flopped face down on the bar the Englishman and Mr. Nag bore me upstairs to my room, much like the woman above is being carried. In the morning I remembered nada until Mr. Nag gently reminded me. Years later I'm still smarting from the indignity of it all - ouch.

Image via Rashomon

Black Rio

Black Rio:

"Thomas Fawcett looks at a musical movement in Brazil which challenged the accepted wisdom of a racial utopia during a time of repression and military dictatorship. Brazilian music often conjures up images of Carnaval parades marching to a pounding samba rhythm or relaxing on the beach to breezy bossa nova melodies. Afros, black politics and soul music are more often associated with Harlem street corners than Rio dancehalls. But in the late 1960s and ‘70s black Brazilians, inspired by their brethren to the north, threw soul and funk parties that drew thousands of people and helped spawn black consciousness and a positive racial identity. " More

Via Linkfilter

Foreigner, Toto, REO Speedwagon and More!!

Do well on this Mental Floss quiz and you'll be filled with self-loathing. I know I was.

***Nasty Side Effect Warning: These songs will replay in your brain over and over and over again.

Now They Tell Me!

Want Your Orders Carried Out? Then Stop Nagging!

Via Neatorama

Rochdale College: Organized anarchy

Mr. Nag and I lived here very briefly (but not together) around 1969. It was a zoo, man.

"Rochdale College is the University of Toronto's first co-op residence, Canada's first free university and, before long, the country's most notorious den of iniquity. Rochdale opens in the spring of 1968 as an experiment in co-operative living and student-centred education. But this university offers no structured courses, curriculum, exams, or degrees. On CBC Radio, Rochdale residents and resource people in the flush of excitement discuss what Rochdale means to them. "

Audio

Need a Reason To Celebrate?

Party down- it's pi day!

March 14th. A "holiday" celebrated by math geeks everywhere. Pi is approximately 3.14, and March the 14th is 3/14.
omg t3h pi day d00d, we are so 1337, pi roxxors t3h boxxors!

It Was Alright Until He Decided To Play Leapfrog With It

"BILLINGS, Mont. – A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post – it was that unicorn behind the wheel.
Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said."

Mummy, What Colour Is Arterial Blood?

Gangsta Rap Coloring Book : "Kids love colouring. And guns. So it only makes sense that someone would finally bring the two together with the cleverly titled Gangsta Rap Coloring Book."




Outraged parents are demanding that the book, featuring hip hop stars 50 Cent, KRS One and Ice T be removed from store shelves. Dose.ca reports, "As of press time it was not known if those muthafuckas were gonna step off or if Mothers Against Guns were going to have to pop a cap in their ass. "

Older Than Dirt

I guess I'm not the oldest blogger ever. Olive is.

Via Neatorama

Someone's Been a Naughty Teddy

"Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found drunk and naked apart from bondage gear. Reports say he was able to identify himself to police only after a rubber ball had been removed from his mouth."

A foreign ministry spokesperson said, "We're talking about behaviour that is unbecoming of a diplomat." No shit. Do you think he's embarrassed? His country and his family sure are.

Don't Give Up The Nag For Lent

The other night I was listening to a group of people talking about what they gave up for Lent (I had to be there, it was not my choice). One of the group turned to me and asked what I'd decided to do without during the Lenten period. Being a perverse sort of atheist I answered, "I've taken up smoking."
It blew me away that people still give up stuff for Lent. What would I give up to curry favour with the Lord and/or to prove that I possess an iota of self discipline? I guess I could substitute Irish whiskey for wine but just the thought of such cruel deprivation makes me cringe. How about foregoing cigarettes, chocolate, gambling, foxhunting or cocaine? No problem since I don't indulge in those particular vices. Perhaps I'll just give up on expecting Mr. Nag to pick up after himself....
When I was a kid and lived at my grandmother's place we couldn't eat meat on Fridays because Jesus died on that day. So we had yummy fish and chips instead. That's what I call a win-win deprivation situation. We loved Fridays - and it made Jesus happy.

Yet Another Thing I'm Not Very Good At...

Take the Nerd Quiz

The Man Who Writes Love Letters: A Day with Saigon's Last Public Letter Writer

A polyglot public letter writer in Ho Chi Minh City bridges different worlds -- connecting people across the planet with his fountain pen. His profession may be dying, but in his 60 years on the job, he has created many marriages. More

Via Arts and Letters Daily