A French language lesson from Why Travel To France:
Il pète plus haut que son cul. / He is pretentious.
(literal: He farts higher than his ass.)
Il est coiffé comme un dessous de bras. / He’s having a bad hair day. (His hair is dressed like an armpit.)
J’ai la tête dans le cul ce matin. / I have a lot of trouble waking up this morning.
(My head is in my ass this morning.)
Il faut que j’aille couler un bronze. / I need to take a dump.
(I need to cast a bronze sculpture.)
Il secoue le poireau. / He’s masturbating. (He’s shaking the leek.)
Il va degorger le poireau. / He’s going to piss.
(He’s going to squeeze out the leek.)
Il branle le mammouth. / He procrastinates.
(He jerks off the mammoth.)
Il se fait des couilles en or. / He makes a lot of money.
(He is making himself golden balls.)
Cette fille, c’est un thon. / That girl is very ugly.
(This girl is a tuna fish.)
Il n’a jamais trempé son biscuit. / He is still a virgin.
(He has never dipped his cookie.)
Il nous en chie une pendule. / He’s making a big fuss about it.
(He’s sh*tting a wall clock about it.)
Il nous en chie une pendule à treize coups. / He’s making a VERY big fuss about it.
(He’s sh*tting a thirteen-stroke wall clock about it.)
C’est un enculeur de mouches. / He’s a nitpicker.
(He BFs the flies.)
Il a le cul bordé de nouilles. / He is extremely lucky.
(He has noodles all around his ass.)
Il chie de la broue. / he’s lying.
(Brew is coming out of his ass.)
I fear I'll never master French colloquialisms. I have to keep reminding myself to focus on bodily functions.
No comments:
Post a Comment