RIP Max

Gentleman. Good dog. Dear friend.

Dare I hope?

I know spring is right around the corner when I see the spring aconites. After yesterday's warm weather there are other interesting things popping up through the snow as well. I see a dinosaur, a Santa, a gutted panther and a red plastic porcupine. Max is holding his monster and The Daily Growl in his mouth. Out of sight is a little soldier. I often wonder who designs dog toys; some of them are a little bizarre.

Who's been sleeping in Baby Nag's bed?

Max, get off that bed right now! But first let me grab some hard evidence...

What's his problem?

I'm no Michael Vick or anything but I will admit to tormenting my dog lately. "It's for his own good," I tell myself but I'm beginning to wonder.
Max used to sleep in Nag Jr's old room but Jr has returned from Brazil and has reclaimed the room for the next little while so Max has been sleeping on the hard floor. We purchased a large cushion for him because we worry about his comfort (See, Max, this is how much we love you!). How does he express his gratitude? He avoids the cushion as if it were an electrified fence.
I've been trying to lure him onto the cushion by lying on it, making little kissing sounds, holding out treats and calling to him in a high pitched voice (yes, I look like a total ass). He slinks over, the whites of his eyes showing in fear, prostrates himself beside the cushion but won't join me on it; he snatches the treat and runs away.
Mr. Nag tries to help. He strokes the cushion like it's Angelina Jolie's breast and croons to Max about the fine qualities possessed by this magnificent dog bed. Still no dice.
In the picture below I rolled him on to the edge of it but I know he's plotting his escape. He's probably thinking we've finally lost our minds. I don't know what to try next - I've done everything but don a negligee and offer him a martini.

Max With Two Toys

A Cell Phone For Max

This is truly revolutionary - and only $400.00 US. I can now call Max from work to tell him to start dinner. Or when I'm on vacation he can let me know whether Baby Nag is wrecking the place. Or we could just chat a bit.

Me: "Hey dude, what's up?"
Max:
Me: "Nothing much, eh? Not much happening here either."
Max:

Via Mental Floss

Max In The Backyard

Max would look so hot in this

Vagablond brings us stylish fashion for man and beast.

The world’s foremost innovator in dog outerwear, K9 Top Coat promises canine apparel that is both durable and fashionable, comfortable yet functional. This is not the sort of dog clothes that comes in a bag at Petco.

Max Would Like This Place

At the Wag Hotel, which is scheduled to open its doors in San Francisco next month, Fido might begin his weekend stay with a dip in the swimming pool. He can follow with a stress-relieving massage or a "blueberry facial" or even treat himself to a "pawdicure." At the end of the day, he can return to his $85-a-night suite, kick up his paws on the sofa and snooze away the evening to a stream of Disney animation movies, piped in to his room on a high-definition flat-screen TV.

We take Max to an upscale kennel, not some place that treats him like an animal. The enclosures are large and he gets toys and treats and lots of exercise - no tv, facials or pedicures though. All he really wants is to hang out with people so we pay for extra "people time" and hope that he gets it. Mr. Nag and I know that we're neurotic about our pets but there's no helping it and it's obvious that many others feel the same way, judging by the booming luxury pet boarding industry.

Via Information Junk

A Bitch For Max?

If your dog is looking for a date, then we have the answer... Doggie Dating can help you find a partner for your dog or bitch.
Search our list of hopeful canines or you can register your own pet with us to find them the ideal date.

Via Presurfer

Max scored 5

How to tell if your canine is an intellectual: Keeping in mind that some breeds are generally smarter and more trainable (border collies, for instance) than others (bulldogs), memory is 'a good approximation' of how bright your dog is, writes Stanley Coren.
Here is an example of a quadrupedal IQ test for dogs that are one or older and have been living in the same place for at least 10 weeks:
Place your dog on a leash in the centre of the room. Show her a treat.
Then, 'with a great exaggerated show (but no sound), place the tidbit in a corner.'
Lead her out of the room, walk her in a small circle, and then bring her back to the centre of the room.
Remove the leash and start your stopwatch.
If she goes directly to the treat, score 5.
If she systematically sniffs around the edge of the room and finds the treat, score 4.
If she searches in a random fashion but finds the treat within 45 seconds, score 3.
If she tries but fails after 45 seconds, score 2.
If she makes no effort to find the treat, score 1.
If she trots over to the remote and turns on the World Cup, score 0.

Parasites Are Sucking Blood From My Dog

Baby Nag has found several ticks on Max. I hold the dog while Patrick extracts the ticks with tweezers and then we squash them and blood squirts everywhere. Hey, it's the weekend, I'm entitled to a bit of fun!

Pass the Alpo, Max

"Research has shown that pet food is better for you than many fast food meals. Measured for fat, salt and sugar levels, brands such as Gourmet Gold cat food and Caeser dog food contained a lot less fat than food from KFC, Pizza Hut and McDonald's."

I Have An Anorexic Flat Coat

Max won't eat. I explained to him that there are dogs in Africa that don't get fed premium food and then premium food with gravy. In fact these dogs get eaten. However he remains recalcitrant. This is, it seems, a waiting game.

Waiting For Mr. Nag

It's as if they can tell time. Max and Katie know exactly when Mr. Nag will be returning from work and take up their positions on the sun porch. Katie knows there'll likely be a cookie in it for her. A little earlier they were posed very cutely side-by-side but refused to do it again when I got the camera.

sad boy
Here's Max - note the hangdog expression. He was going about his before bed routine in the yard when he surprised a skunk. Max is an enormous flat-coated retriever so this was a big deal. Mr. Nag sprang up from his lawn chair where he was relaxing , listening to a bit of mellow jazz, harnessed the dog, yelled for the shampoo and headed to the lake where Max enjoyed a late evening swim followed by an intensive grooming and photo session. He's lying beside me now and smells like wet dog but not really skunky.
This town is full of skunks and they're very bold. The other morning at 5am Mr. Nag came upon one in the driveway and, mistaking it for Katie, our ancient, smelley dog, nearly picked it up. Last year, when he was sitting outside, one rubbed against his legs. Both dogs get skunked frequently so we have lots of practice dealing with this particular problem. Forget the tomato juice, simply shampoo without delay.

Et tu Baby Nag

Yon Baby Nag hath a lean and hungry look. Max should get moving before he's mistaken for a piece of very rare meat.

The Dogs

Mr. Nag has asked for photos of the love sponges: Max is a giant sized flat coated retriever sprung from the pound; Katie is a tiny, old but nonetheless dominant bitch. She's in soft focus to disguise the laugh lines.