Saturday, December 31, 2005
Romance Novels Reimagined
Longmire does Romance Novels: "I think a lot of us can agree that a large number of romance novel covers are pretty silly and are just asking to be ridiculed. So that's exactly what I did. I bought a few of them at the used book store and got to work on them. The artwork almost writes its own jokes. Take a look at the following covers I 'reimagined.'"
I Feel His Pain
Pack of Angry Chihuahuas Attack Officer - Yahoo! News:
"A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a
teenager home after a traffic stop, authorities said. "Sure they look sweet when they're dressed in cunning little outfits but put a bunch of them together and the pack mentality takes over. Before you know it they're plotting revolution, growling Viva Zapata through bared fangs and attacking the nearest gringo. I experienced the wrath of the chihuahua when I was canvassing door-to-door during an election campaign a few years back. Three of the little bastards rushed me, dug their razor-sharp teeth into my hands and just clung there. I was jumping and screaming and flailing wildly, trying to shake them off and, no doubt, looking even more demented than ususal. The candidate, ever sensitive, kept repeating, "Quickly, Ms Bellamy, quickly." I still bear the scars from their tiny fangs. I was advised to report these vicious beasts to the public health department but there were five votes at that household (at least that's what they told me, what else could they say?) so I held my tongue.
Friday, December 30, 2005
How to Become As Rich As Bill Gates
How to Become As Rich As Bill Gates
Sorry to disappoint you folks but it helps to come from money. If you're a ghetto kid trying to become as rich as Bill Gates you might have a bumpy road ahead of you. Lesson 1 is: have rich grandparents. Lesson 2: have rich parents. Thanks Presurfer.
Sorry to disappoint you folks but it helps to come from money. If you're a ghetto kid trying to become as rich as Bill Gates you might have a bumpy road ahead of you. Lesson 1 is: have rich grandparents. Lesson 2: have rich parents. Thanks Presurfer.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Every Limbo Boy and Girl All Around The Limbo World...
Even as a child being raised in the Catholic faith I found the notion of limbo, and for that matter, purgatory, heaven and hell to be preposterous. It's incredible that supposedly intelligent folk are still having these discussions in 2006. What a bunch of idiots.
- Church bending on limbo: "This month, 30 top theologians from around the world met at the Vatican to discuss, among other quandaries, the problem of what happens to babies who die without baptism. What they were really doing, as theological advisers to Pope Benedict XVI, was finally disposing of limbo, a concept that was never official church doctrine but has been an enduring medieval theory of a blissful state among the departed, somehow different from both heaven and hell.
Unlike purgatory, a sort of waiting room to heaven for those with some venial faults, the theory of limbo consigned children outside of heaven on account of original sin alone. As a concept, limbo has long been out of favour, as theologically questionable and unnecessarily harsh. It is hard to imagine depriving innocents of heaven. These days it prompts more snickers than anything."
- Church bending on limbo: "This month, 30 top theologians from around the world met at the Vatican to discuss, among other quandaries, the problem of what happens to babies who die without baptism. What they were really doing, as theological advisers to Pope Benedict XVI, was finally disposing of limbo, a concept that was never official church doctrine but has been an enduring medieval theory of a blissful state among the departed, somehow different from both heaven and hell.
Unlike purgatory, a sort of waiting room to heaven for those with some venial faults, the theory of limbo consigned children outside of heaven on account of original sin alone. As a concept, limbo has long been out of favour, as theologically questionable and unnecessarily harsh. It is hard to imagine depriving innocents of heaven. These days it prompts more snickers than anything."
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
25 Most Interesting Webcams of 2005
"Selected from hundreds of nominees by a panel of EarthCam producers, EarthCam announces the most unique and compelling webcams of 2005. "
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Most outrageous statements of 2005
"Here are the most outrageous statements Media Matters for America has documented this year. From attacks on women, Muslims, and African-Americans to a call for the assassination of a foreign leader to an open invitation for Al Qaeda to 'blow up' San Francisco to a claim that gay marriage would lead to unions between 'a man and his donkey,' these statements acutely represent the extreme conservative speech we found in the news media in 2005.
Former Reagan administration Secretary of Education Bill Bennett: 'You could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.' [Salem Radio Network's Bill Bennett's Morning in America, 9/28/05]"
Pat Robertson: "If [Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez] thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it." [Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club, 8/22/05]
Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 8/12/05]
It would be bad enough if these remarks were made by your crazy uncle after one too many festive nogs but most of those quoted have some measure of credibility in the American mainstream media. Click on the link if the samples above weren't enough to turn your stomach....
Former Reagan administration Secretary of Education Bill Bennett: 'You could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.' [Salem Radio Network's Bill Bennett's Morning in America, 9/28/05]"
Pat Robertson: "If [Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez] thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it." [Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club, 8/22/05]
Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 8/12/05]
It would be bad enough if these remarks were made by your crazy uncle after one too many festive nogs but most of those quoted have some measure of credibility in the American mainstream media. Click on the link if the samples above weren't enough to turn your stomach....
Separated At Birth?
Just discovered this blog and I like it.
the blog quebecois: "Klander . . . Khadr? Only a DNA test can tell for sure, but the ol' unibrow never falls far from the tree, if you get my drift."
the blog quebecois: "Klander . . . Khadr? Only a DNA test can tell for sure, but the ol' unibrow never falls far from the tree, if you get my drift."
He turns that Chow/ChowChow separated at birth fiasco back on the perpetrator. How does it feel, buddy?
Our Favourite Christmas Tradition
Today Mr. Nag and I partook of our favourite holiday tradition, The Book Depot Boxing Day Sale. We bought books that would have totalled over $600.00 retail for only $112.00. Their already heavily discounted books are reduced an additional 50%, and that's absolutely everything in the warehouse. We always do a little advance scouting the week before and are able to grab what we want and proceed
immediately to the 45 minute lineup. We decided to thwart the lineup this year by withdrawing cash so we could go to the much shorter cash only line but, much to our chagrin, there was no cash only line this year! Curses, foiled again. In a moment I'll curl up in front of the fire with my new purchases and a glass of wine, the previous hectic week of shopping, cooking and company a thing of the past. Now my holiday begins. Ahh....
Monday, December 26, 2005
Aftermath
It's over for another year- whew. I cooked all day yesterday: butternut squash soup with pear and Stilton, pineapple baked yams, the old reliable Durkee's green bean and mushroom casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, a nice big bird with stuffing and a black forest cake to finish us off. The boys like their old favourites and squawk if I try to change anything. I substituted PC cranberry orange sauce for the old tried and true but it was soundly rejected. Absolutely no tweaking allowed! It took approximately ten minutes to reduce the festive table to something akin to the aftermath of Appomatox. So much for all my toil. But everyone was satisfied and mellowed out on turkey endorphins and we were all together so I guess it was worth it.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
I Want the Pinot Grigio
Guardian Unlimited Special reports Vineyard in a box becomes the must-have gift for Italian townies: "Not everyone in Italy owns a vineyard in Chianti. Most people live in cramped apartments in cities such as Rome and Naples where the idea of harvesting grapes has, until now, been an unattainable dream. But no longer: this year's essential Christmas present for urban Italians is a miniature vineyard that can be planted in a window box or grown on the smallest balcony.
Paolo Roiatti, who runs a garden centre near Udine in northern Italy, came up with the idea after experimenting with planting vines in confined spaces."
What would such a tiny vineyard yield? A glass or two?
Paolo Roiatti, who runs a garden centre near Udine in northern Italy, came up with the idea after experimenting with planting vines in confined spaces."
What would such a tiny vineyard yield? A glass or two?
Friday, December 23, 2005
Che and Bush
One of Mr. Nag's buddies brought back a playmate from Cuba for Talking George Bush but I have a feeling their relationship might prove to be a tad fractious. Talking George Bush is always shooting his mouth off. I take what he says with a grain of salt but Che may be tempted to throw a grenade at him. George was a gift from Uncorrected Proofs a couple of years ago and is my favourite toy. 
It's my only toy.I think George would much prefer this blathering Ann Coulter toy. Don't you? I guess they don't sell any of these babies in Cuba. It's probably just as well, the dialogue between these two neocon toys would be enough to drive me screaming from my own home.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I'm Surprised By This
Apparently Canada's pension plan is investing in arms manufacture, tobacco, corporate criminals and companies that benefit from civil unrest overseas. I don't wish to see my money invested this way and I don't want to live off the fruits of unethical investment. I'll be looking at ways I can become involved in pushing for public pension plan investment strategies that respect the public interest.
TheStar.com - Your pension contributions at work?: "A program funded through compulsory worker contributions raises the question of whether the CPPIB uses socially responsible criteria in making investment decisions.
Astonishingly, the investment board uses no such criteria; indeed, CPPIB has consistently refused to screen investments on the basis of social, human rights, or environmental factors.
The result is that our pension contributions are invested in the world's leading arms manufacturers, in companies that have been prosecuted for criminal activities, in the tobacco industry, and in companies complicit in human rights abuses.
Officially, Canada did not join the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. However, all Canadian workers who pay into the Canada Pension Plan are contributing to the war effort."
TheStar.com - Your pension contributions at work?: "A program funded through compulsory worker contributions raises the question of whether the CPPIB uses socially responsible criteria in making investment decisions.
Astonishingly, the investment board uses no such criteria; indeed, CPPIB has consistently refused to screen investments on the basis of social, human rights, or environmental factors.
The result is that our pension contributions are invested in the world's leading arms manufacturers, in companies that have been prosecuted for criminal activities, in the tobacco industry, and in companies complicit in human rights abuses.
Officially, Canada did not join the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. However, all Canadian workers who pay into the Canada Pension Plan are contributing to the war effort."
Public health care cheapest and best
Make this an election issue. I can't believe that so many voters are more worried about same sex marriage than the state of our health care system.
TheStar.com - Public health care cheapest and best: "In Britain, a major audit on the financial difficulties at London's public Queen Elizabeth Hospital shows that so-called P3s, or public-private partnerships, may promise savings but in fact carry overly heavy costs.
Meanwhile, in the United States, a study published this week in the prestigious American Journal of Medicine shows that the quality of care for Medicare patients is better when care is delivered by not-for-profit health plans, than by for-profit plans.
While many in Canada argue that the P3 concept is a good means of tapping private capital to help fund the country's burgeoning public infrastructure needs, the experience of the near-bankrupt London hospital underscores the fact that instead of reducing the risks to taxpayers, reliance on private money can actually increase those risks."
TheStar.com - Public health care cheapest and best: "In Britain, a major audit on the financial difficulties at London's public Queen Elizabeth Hospital shows that so-called P3s, or public-private partnerships, may promise savings but in fact carry overly heavy costs.
Meanwhile, in the United States, a study published this week in the prestigious American Journal of Medicine shows that the quality of care for Medicare patients is better when care is delivered by not-for-profit health plans, than by for-profit plans.
While many in Canada argue that the P3 concept is a good means of tapping private capital to help fund the country's burgeoning public infrastructure needs, the experience of the near-bankrupt London hospital underscores the fact that instead of reducing the risks to taxpayers, reliance on private money can actually increase those risks."
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Have Yourself A Wretched Little Christmas
Songs about reindeer and rocking around the Christmas tree make me retch. Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean I'll abandon my favourite musical themes, drunkenness and despair. These two songs get a lot of play chez Nag over the Christmas season:
John Prine's Christmas in Prison The John Prine Christmas album is much better than most seasonal compilations which, for the most part, suck. This song tugs at my old brittle heartstrings.
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues - Ditto.
I also love choirs with little boy sopranos and a medieval bent that evoke the coldness and darkness of winter and make you want to huddle round the hearth with a flagon of something.
John Prine's Christmas in Prison The John Prine Christmas album is much better than most seasonal compilations which, for the most part, suck. This song tugs at my old brittle heartstrings.
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues - Ditto.
I also love choirs with little boy sopranos and a medieval bent that evoke the coldness and darkness of winter and make you want to huddle round the hearth with a flagon of something.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Mr. Sun!
Mr. Sun is so funny. I've enjoyed him for a long time as a sort of secret pleasure but now I'll share him with you because you're special:
Welcome to the first of many dispatches from an undercover Mr. Sun mole embedded in a key enemy division waging The War on Christmas. This brave loyalist risks his very life in bringing these reports to Mr. Sun and his readers. In order to protect his identity, he will be known only as 'The Yule Mole.' If you feel you must know his real name, just ask Scooter Libby or Robert Novak."
Bjork Is So Cool
"Contactmusic.com reports that Bjork is currently taking a 10-week course to captain a 30 ton boat, and when completed she will embark on an epic journey with her family.
'It has always been my ambition. I have homes all over the place at the moment - Iceland, England and France - but I'd love for my home to be a boat so that I can take it wherever I go. The course I'm taking tests whether I have the balls to do this. So I'm having to work hard and behave myself. My life's always changing - I'm constantly looking for new things. I'm never still. My theory is that life on a boat could be great.'"
'It has always been my ambition. I have homes all over the place at the moment - Iceland, England and France - but I'd love for my home to be a boat so that I can take it wherever I go. The course I'm taking tests whether I have the balls to do this. So I'm having to work hard and behave myself. My life's always changing - I'm constantly looking for new things. I'm never still. My theory is that life on a boat could be great.'"
Monday, December 19, 2005
'Heirheads' Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart Top PETA's Annual 'Worst-Dressed' List
Evidently you have to be a no-talent "heirhead" to wear fur:
1. Paris Hilton: Now we know what happens to all of Paris Hilton's cast-off pets. And if she keeps on wearing fur and eating at Carl's Jr., she'll be back on the list next year as Star Jones.
2. Kimberly Stewart: What does Kimberly Stewart have in common with the remains of the animals killed for her furs? They're both spoiled rotten. She and best bud Paris are so clueless about animals, they should team up for a new reality show: The Simpletons.
3. Lisa Gastineau: Her 'TV career' is just like the fur she wears, dead on arrival. And how can she expect to nab a hot young hunk if she insists on flaunting that old beaver?
4. Victoria Gotti: Gotti's fur coats make her an accessory to murder, and it's a look that goes well with cement shoes. Considering the way she dresses, her show should be called Growing Up Gaudy.
5. Tara Reid: It must have been a heck of a party, she woke up wearing Lindsay Lohan's dog! Not only can she not act, she can't dress herself, either.
Three celebs notably absent from PETA's list this year are animal-friendly turncoats Martha Stewart and Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham and fur-wary Alicia Keys. Stewart, who topped the list last year, now hosts a video expose on FurIsDead.com, in which she says, 'I used to wear real fur, but, like many others, I had a change of heart when I learned what actually happens to the animals.' Formerly furry Beckham has confirmed to PETA that she not only now shuns fur, but also supports PETA's anti-fur campaign. And Keys revealed her biggest fashion faux pas to USA Today this year: "The worst was this fur collar, and PETA should have gotten me with red paint," she said. "It looked like I was being eaten by a big bear." We haven't seen her in real fur since, which makes us think she finally came to her senses and won't wear it."
Radio DavidByrne.com
Radio David Byrne is currently featuring country music from the 50s and 60s, not my favourite country genre - I like the old roots stuff or hippy country. There's plenty here to enjoy though - Patsy,Tammy, Dolly, etc. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that Dolly's "Coat of Many Colors" really moves me, especially when I've been drinking too much. There's no Shania and that's a good thing. But there is Loretta Lynn's "Fist City", a rather unsavoury song but not nearly as unsavoury as you might imagine.
Bolivian poor glimpse victory for their champion
Bush took his eye off South America to wage his senseless war in the Middle East. Socialist governments have been springing up like mushrooms right in his own back yard.
"Bolivians went to the polls yesterday to elect a new president, with popular indigenous leader Evo Morales hoping for a historic victory in south America's poorest country.
Opinion polls showed Mr Morales, 46, a former coca farmer, on 34%, a 5% lead over his nearest rival, Jorge 'Tuto' Quiroga, a protege of the late, former dictator Hugo Banzer. If there is no clear majority there will be a run-off in January."
"Bolivians went to the polls yesterday to elect a new president, with popular indigenous leader Evo Morales hoping for a historic victory in south America's poorest country.
Opinion polls showed Mr Morales, 46, a former coca farmer, on 34%, a 5% lead over his nearest rival, Jorge 'Tuto' Quiroga, a protege of the late, former dictator Hugo Banzer. If there is no clear majority there will be a run-off in January."
Sunday, December 18, 2005
I'd Like To Be a Marmot Shepherd
"For the past three summers, the Vancouver Island Marmot Recovery Foundation, which has a $900,000 budget, employs 'marmot shepherds' to protect the growing colonies from predators.
This sounds like a great gig. The Recovery Foundation is reintroducing marmots into their natural wild habitat. Humans camp nearby to deter predators and to monitor the released marmots. The Vancouver Island marmot is Canada’s most endangered mammal. There are currently less than 30 animals left in the wild, along with 78 in breeding programs across Canada. The Vancouver Island Recovery Plan goal is to increase the wild population to between 400 and 600 marmots.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Deck the Halls
I came home last night to find that Mr. Nag had spent the day festooning (I try to use this verb liberally during the holidays as I don't get to use it much during the rest of the year). When the little nags were younger the halls were fully decked, the house smelled of Christmas cookies and Christmas carols filled the air. In recent years there's been a definite dearth of Xmas atmos chez Nag. If it weren't for Mr. Nag's Yuletide spirit a last-minute spate of frenzied spending would be the only festive celebration we'd observe - well, that and a higher than normal consumption of Irish whiskey. I can't help but love him.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Shame On Them
SAN QUENTIN, Calif.At 12:01 a.m. Tuesday, having exhausted all appeals, Stanley 'Tookie' Williams shuffled into San Quentin's death chamber, shackled at the wrists and waist and escorted by four burly guards.
After he climbed onto a padded gurney, officers buckled Williams down with wide black straps across his shins, thighs, belly and chest. His arms, stretched out to the side, were secured with leather restraints.
At 12:03 a.m., two guards pulled on surgical gloves as another entered the mint-green chamber with a plastic tub of supplies. Three minutes later, a needle was thrust successfully into Williams's right arm and connected to an intravenous tube.
For 12 minutes, a prison nurse , her brow glistening with sweat , poked the convict's left arm repeatedly, searching for a vein that would deliver a dose of poison. As his loved ones watched in distress, the inmate visibly winced in pain.
Ultimately, the needle found its mark, a stream of lethal chemicals flowed, and Williams , convicted of murdering four people with a shotgun in 1979 , drew his final breath."
After he climbed onto a padded gurney, officers buckled Williams down with wide black straps across his shins, thighs, belly and chest. His arms, stretched out to the side, were secured with leather restraints.
At 12:03 a.m., two guards pulled on surgical gloves as another entered the mint-green chamber with a plastic tub of supplies. Three minutes later, a needle was thrust successfully into Williams's right arm and connected to an intravenous tube.
For 12 minutes, a prison nurse , her brow glistening with sweat , poked the convict's left arm repeatedly, searching for a vein that would deliver a dose of poison. As his loved ones watched in distress, the inmate visibly winced in pain.
Ultimately, the needle found its mark, a stream of lethal chemicals flowed, and Williams , convicted of murdering four people with a shotgun in 1979 , drew his final breath."
Answers sought for axe-attack victim
A group of petitioners is calling on police to release their findings in the brutal axe attack on a Toronto woman.
On Nov. 3, 2004, Wyann Ruso was attacked in her Scarborough home by her husband.
Just hours before the attack, Ruso went to a police station to report that her husband had threatened to kill her. She also turned over his shotgun at that time.
However, police did not pick up the man, and Ruso was attacked when she returned home to fed her disabled daughter.
Ruso was badly injured, suffering a fractured skull and a broken jaw, but survived the attack. Her husband was subsequently arrested.
Shortly after the incident, then police chief Julian Fantino said the force would conduct an internal review into how Ruso's complaint was handled.
Now, more than a year after that promise was made, more than 2,000 people have signed postcards calling on the current police chief, Bill Blair, to release the results of that review."
On Nov. 3, 2004, Wyann Ruso was attacked in her Scarborough home by her husband.
Just hours before the attack, Ruso went to a police station to report that her husband had threatened to kill her. She also turned over his shotgun at that time.
However, police did not pick up the man, and Ruso was attacked when she returned home to fed her disabled daughter.
Ruso was badly injured, suffering a fractured skull and a broken jaw, but survived the attack. Her husband was subsequently arrested.
Shortly after the incident, then police chief Julian Fantino said the force would conduct an internal review into how Ruso's complaint was handled.
Now, more than a year after that promise was made, more than 2,000 people have signed postcards calling on the current police chief, Bill Blair, to release the results of that review."
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
This Is Good News For the NDP
"Ed Schreyer to run for NDP in Winnipeg
In what may be a political first in the British Commonwealth, former governor general Edward Schreyer will announce his candidacy Thursday as a New Democrat Party candidate in Winnipeg.
In what may be a political first in the British Commonwealth, former governor general Edward Schreyer will announce his candidacy Thursday as a New Democrat Party candidate in Winnipeg.
Ontario to deny licences to dropouts
What are they thinking? Fact is the majority of dropouts come from lower economic backgrounds. Some dropouts grow up in single parent families on welfare that don't have cars to withhold from their truant children. Many of the kids live in cities where they can take public transit to the mall to hang with their buddies all day. These kids couldn't care less about having a driver's license, they don't need it. Some of these kids drop out because their friends are doing it. Others see school as a trap where they don't get the help they need and are constantly confronted with their own failure. These are the kids who, even in the best scenario, will leave school and a driver's license may be the only thing keeping them from going on social assistance. There are many reasons why kids leave school, most of them socio-economic- maybe their parents don't value education. Punishing these kids won't solve these problems, it will just set them further apart. I'm surprised that Gerard Kennedy doesn't get it.
"Ontario has some American-style tough love in mind to discourage students from quitting high school. Teens who drop out before turning 18 or graduating won't be able to get or keep a driver's licence under what critics are calling 'punitive' and 'hare-brained' legislation proposed yesterday by Education Minister Gerard Kennedy."
"Ontario has some American-style tough love in mind to discourage students from quitting high school. Teens who drop out before turning 18 or graduating won't be able to get or keep a driver's licence under what critics are calling 'punitive' and 'hare-brained' legislation proposed yesterday by Education Minister Gerard Kennedy."
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Our New Print
Our good friend Campbell Scott, artist and renaissance man, gave us this terrific Picassoesque print
.This is one of his older pieces, houses on stilts in Grand Manan.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
You Go Girl!
"A Socialist doctor has taken a strong lead in early returns from Chile's presidential election but appears unlikely to become the country's first woman president without facing a runoff vote. "First round or second round, I am confident we will win," Bachelet, 54, said after casting her ballot.
Bachelet is a pediatrician who has been defence minister for three years under the centre-left coalition Concertacion that has governed Chile since Gen. Augusto Pinochet's military regime was ousted in 1990.
If elected, she would become the first woman president of Chile and the fourth elected female leader in Latin America. "
Bachelet is a pediatrician who has been defence minister for three years under the centre-left coalition Concertacion that has governed Chile since Gen. Augusto Pinochet's military regime was ousted in 1990.
If elected, she would become the first woman president of Chile and the fourth elected female leader in Latin America. "
Socially Awkward Situations During Which It Would Be Acceptable to Mess With Texas.
A McSweeney's list:
"Socially Awkward Situations During Which It Would Be Acceptable to Mess With Texas.
BY BENJAMIN SUMLIN
- - - -
Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.
Texas partied too late, asks to copy homework.
Texas asks if it would be 'cool to hook up with your ex.'
Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.
Texas bogarts the remote just before Lost.
Texas demonstrates little respect for 'personal space.'
Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you've been hiding in the back of the pantry.
Texas needs you to cover rent 'just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear.'
Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy. "
"Socially Awkward Situations During Which It Would Be Acceptable to Mess With Texas.
BY BENJAMIN SUMLIN
- - - -
Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.
Texas partied too late, asks to copy homework.
Texas asks if it would be 'cool to hook up with your ex.'
Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.
Texas bogarts the remote just before Lost.
Texas demonstrates little respect for 'personal space.'
Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you've been hiding in the back of the pantry.
Texas needs you to cover rent 'just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear.'
Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy. "
Balking in a winter wonderland
And in the spirit of the season Ben Rayner reviews some godawful Christmas music:
"Bruce Springsteen, 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.' Speaking of straining, surely even Bruce is now embarrassed by the ultra-macho pummelling he and the E-Street Band delivered to Jolly Old Saint Nick on this overwrought '80s live recording. Shouting in lieu of singing over the band's typically unsubtle Jersey bar-band rumble, he comes off less as an excitable child on Christmas Eve than a knife-wielding sociopath lying in wait by the chimney.
Luther Campbell, 'Ho Ho Hoes.' Open-minded families might not balk at the idea of unwrapping their presents on Christmas morning to raps on fellatio and Santa's big bag, but this classless single from the former 2 Live Crew mastermind is still limp as hip hop and too dimwitted to be funny. Other tracks on the Christmas at Luke's Sex Shop EP, by the way, include 'Christmas Spliff,' 'Christmas F---in' Day' and the more sober 'Jesus is Black.'"
"Bruce Springsteen, 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.' Speaking of straining, surely even Bruce is now embarrassed by the ultra-macho pummelling he and the E-Street Band delivered to Jolly Old Saint Nick on this overwrought '80s live recording. Shouting in lieu of singing over the band's typically unsubtle Jersey bar-band rumble, he comes off less as an excitable child on Christmas Eve than a knife-wielding sociopath lying in wait by the chimney.
Luther Campbell, 'Ho Ho Hoes.' Open-minded families might not balk at the idea of unwrapping their presents on Christmas morning to raps on fellatio and Santa's big bag, but this classless single from the former 2 Live Crew mastermind is still limp as hip hop and too dimwitted to be funny. Other tracks on the Christmas at Luke's Sex Shop EP, by the way, include 'Christmas Spliff,' 'Christmas F---in' Day' and the more sober 'Jesus is Black.'"
Grandiloquent Dictionary
"This is the result of an ongoing project to collect and distribute the most obscure and rare words in the English language. It also contains a few words which do not have equivalent words in English. At present, the dictionary contains approximately 2300 words, though it is constantly growing. "
Lori over at Celebrating The Absurd came across the dictionary and made the following observation:
Lori over at Celebrating The Absurd came across the dictionary and made the following observation:
But, really, even on the first page ('A' words), there are some useful ones.
Haven't we all met an:
aeolist - A pompous windy bore who pretends to have inspiration
Or aren't we often guilty of:
abligurition - Excessive spending on food and drink
Friday, December 09, 2005
Ann Coulter Heckled Once Again
Well, my friends, I'd probably do more than heckle Ann Coulter if I were ever to find myself in physical proximity to her. I get dangerously close to the edge whenever I see her on the tube. This woman turns me into a raving, ranting maniac. Hey, perhaps she's got a point?
"Ann Coulter was forced to cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut yesterday after hecklers drowned it out. Perhaps it had something to do with the dross issuing from her piehole. Forced into a question and answer session, she responded to her critics by saying, 'I love to engage in repartee with people that are a lot stupider than I am. We're having a question and answer right now with the little crybabies.' Here's what she had to say in that Q&A about having a gay kid:
One student asked what she would do if she had a child who came out as gay.
Coulter replied: 'I'd say, 'Did I ever tell you you're adopted?''"
A love-in for Miller, the board of trade and Layton's NDP
Will wonders never cease?
"Glen Grunwald, president of the Toronto Board of Trade, loves Jack Layton, Leader of the federal New Democrats. Mr. Layton is the one federal leader 'who has done most for the city lately,' Mr. Grunwald, the voice of the city's business community, announced this fall."
"Glen Grunwald, president of the Toronto Board of Trade, loves Jack Layton, Leader of the federal New Democrats. Mr. Layton is the one federal leader 'who has done most for the city lately,' Mr. Grunwald, the voice of the city's business community, announced this fall."
Chinese Village Surrounded After Shootings
These guys are really going to have to tone down this behaviour if they want to be part of the world community. Who wants to go to Olympic games in a country that resolves disputes this way?
"Hundreds of riot police armed with guns and shields have surrounded and sealed off a southern Chinese village where authorities fatally shot demonstrators this week, villagers said Friday.
Although riot police often use tear gas and truncheons to disperse demonstrators, it is extremely rare for security forces to fire into a crowd , as they did in putting down pro-democracy demonstrations in 1989 near Tiananmen Square. Hundreds, if not thousands, were killed.
During the demonstration Tuesday in Dongzhou, a village in Guangdong province, thousands of people gathered to protest the amount of money offered by the government as compensation for land to be used in the construction of a wind power plant.
Police started firing into the crowd and killed several people, mostly men, villagers reached by telephone said Friday. The death toll ranged from two to 10, they said, and many remained missing."
"Hundreds of riot police armed with guns and shields have surrounded and sealed off a southern Chinese village where authorities fatally shot demonstrators this week, villagers said Friday.
Although riot police often use tear gas and truncheons to disperse demonstrators, it is extremely rare for security forces to fire into a crowd , as they did in putting down pro-democracy demonstrations in 1989 near Tiananmen Square. Hundreds, if not thousands, were killed.
During the demonstration Tuesday in Dongzhou, a village in Guangdong province, thousands of people gathered to protest the amount of money offered by the government as compensation for land to be used in the construction of a wind power plant.
Police started firing into the crowd and killed several people, mostly men, villagers reached by telephone said Friday. The death toll ranged from two to 10, they said, and many remained missing."
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Notes on "Humps" - A song so awful it hurts the mind
I got a nasty impression of the Black Eyed Peas when I saw this song performed at the Grey Cup halftime show (however Mr. Nag seemed rather taken with Fergie).
'Taste has no system and no proofs this much we know. 'But some 40 years after the critic Susan Sontag made this and other observations on the good, the bad, and the in-between, the times have a-changed: Irony and camp have recast taste as an ethical shell game and we feel no guilt celebrating things that are, in the parlance of VH1, Awesomely Bad. But are there still songs that qualify as 'bad'? Consider the Los Angeles hip-hop quartet the Black Eyed Peas. Their current single, 'My Humps,' is one of the most popular hit singles in history. It is also proof that a song can be so bad as to veer toward evil.
'Taste has no system and no proofs this much we know. 'But some 40 years after the critic Susan Sontag made this and other observations on the good, the bad, and the in-between, the times have a-changed: Irony and camp have recast taste as an ethical shell game and we feel no guilt celebrating things that are, in the parlance of VH1, Awesomely Bad. But are there still songs that qualify as 'bad'? Consider the Los Angeles hip-hop quartet the Black Eyed Peas. Their current single, 'My Humps,' is one of the most popular hit singles in history. It is also proof that a song can be so bad as to veer toward evil.
Baby Bush Toys | Brain Food For the Average Child
An exciting range of products for the resoundingly average child. These toys are guaranteed not to challenge tiny brains
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Project Porchlight: Change within reach.
"City of Lights
12,824 bulbs delivered in Ottawa South!
Why stop at 10,000?
The goal of Project Porchlight Ottawa South was to deliver 10,000 free compact fluorescent light bulbs door-to-door, and to mail 50,000 redeemable coupons for more free bulbs out by mail. Momentum generated from the pre-launch media is still rolling; community groups, co-op home neighbourhoods and motivated individuals keep calling to volunteer. "
12,824 bulbs delivered in Ottawa South!
Why stop at 10,000?
The goal of Project Porchlight Ottawa South was to deliver 10,000 free compact fluorescent light bulbs door-to-door, and to mail 50,000 redeemable coupons for more free bulbs out by mail. Momentum generated from the pre-launch media is still rolling; community groups, co-op home neighbourhoods and motivated individuals keep calling to volunteer. "
Cat Survives 4 Weeks in Fridge
Is it just me that wonders "Who lives in a place for 4 weeks without opening the fridge?"Everyone knows the old saying " cats have nine lives." Now a cat in Alva, Oklahoma has put that the saying to the test and lived to purr about it. The cat's family and area residents are amazed that Louis the cat survived four weeks inside a refrigerator without food or water. Todd Honer: 'For some reason I reached up and pulled the handle on the refrigerator and Louie jumped outor fell out.'Louis, normally about 10 pounds, came out weighing only 3 pounds. He was a little stinky and very thirsty and hungry.It seems four-year-old Tyce put Louis in the refrigerator to keep him safe. The problem was, Tyce forgot about the cat. Todd Honer: 'Must not have been a real airtight seal on the refrigerator for him to have a four weeks worth of air, but I said well I think it could be a pretty good refrigerator-it can at least keep a cat fresh for four weeks.'"
Monday, December 05, 2005
I Have An Anorexic Flat Coat
Max won't eat. I explained to him that there are dogs in Africa that don't get fed premium food and then premium food with gravy. In fact these dogs get eaten. However he remains recalcitrant. This is, it seems, a waiting game.
Rendition
Rendition: The abduction of suspects who are taken to countries where they can be questioned outside the protection of US law.
"The British government is guilty of breaking international law if it allowed secret CIA 'rendition' flights of terror suspects to land at UK airports, according to a report by American legal scholars. Merely giving permission for the flights to refuel while en route to the Middle East to collect a prisoner would constitute a breach of the law, according to the opinion commissioned by an all-party group of MPs, which meets in parliament for the first time today." -Guardian Unlimited Dec 5
It comes as no surprise that Phoney Blair would allow the Bush regime to use UK airports for nefarious purposes. But is it possible that the same activity is taking place in Canada? Tell me it isn't true.
A mysterious Twin Otter plane owned by a suspected CIA front turned up in northern Ontario this fall, raising unanswered questions about why it was there. It's the latest twist in a perplexing saga of aircraft controlled by apparent shell companies of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. Flight data obtained by The Canadian Press indicates the DeHavilland DHC-6-300 aircraft landed in Sault Ste. Marie in early October after taking off from Michigan's Jackson County Airport. From there, the 22-seat turboprop made a short trip to an airport just southwest of the hamlet of Bar River.
An airport official, who asked not to be named, said he does not discuss planes that use Bar River out of respect for customers' privacy. "I suggest you don't pursue this any further. - Toronto Star Dec. 5
"The British government is guilty of breaking international law if it allowed secret CIA 'rendition' flights of terror suspects to land at UK airports, according to a report by American legal scholars. Merely giving permission for the flights to refuel while en route to the Middle East to collect a prisoner would constitute a breach of the law, according to the opinion commissioned by an all-party group of MPs, which meets in parliament for the first time today." -Guardian Unlimited Dec 5
It comes as no surprise that Phoney Blair would allow the Bush regime to use UK airports for nefarious purposes. But is it possible that the same activity is taking place in Canada? Tell me it isn't true.
A mysterious Twin Otter plane owned by a suspected CIA front turned up in northern Ontario this fall, raising unanswered questions about why it was there. It's the latest twist in a perplexing saga of aircraft controlled by apparent shell companies of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. Flight data obtained by The Canadian Press indicates the DeHavilland DHC-6-300 aircraft landed in Sault Ste. Marie in early October after taking off from Michigan's Jackson County Airport. From there, the 22-seat turboprop made a short trip to an airport just southwest of the hamlet of Bar River.
An airport official, who asked not to be named, said he does not discuss planes that use Bar River out of respect for customers' privacy. "I suggest you don't pursue this any further. - Toronto Star Dec. 5
Friday, December 02, 2005
Sour Cream
Flipping though the channels, I saw something sort of unappealing. "Who are those geezers ?" I asked. Mr. Nag, with his usual intuitiveness, said "Wow ,man, it's Cream." Who would've guessed? I remember when one of my high school boyfriends, Roddy MacAlpine, used to play Cream records on a little record player (one of those cardboard jobs we had in the 60's) down by his locker in the basement near the boiler room of Merivale High School. He incurred the wrath of the powers that were for these impromptu concerts. But then Roddy was always incurring someone's wrath. I still love the music but it somehow disturbs me to see it played by three old men.
Wine Even I Can't Drink
I thought I could drink almost anything but Mr. Nag has been putting my tolerance to the test: Nouveaux that taste like Mr. Grape and a series of Syrahs that create an awful puckering sensation. What do they have in common, aside from bad taste? Price. I had to call a halt to his purchasing practices when I couldn't drink the latest trophy, a Shiraz Vintage 2005, pictured here. All I can say is yuck! No more! It's Cotes Du Rhone or rien!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Leslie Harpold's Advent Calendar 2005
I look forward to this every year and usually email it to folks. It's a treat a day. This year people will have to read my blog if they want to see it.
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