Declarations of Conjugal Interest from the Massachusetts Federalist, 1733.

'Share Mine Agony' − SWM
Lonesome tanner. Wage of twelve pounds, seven shillings in the year. Owner of several goode hats. I seek a woman in her eleventh yeare of age or more, faire skinn-ed so as to appear sickly, and of dignified carriage. Her posture shall be impecc'bly erect, so much that folkes often inquire where she found such a stiff coat. If not erect to my liking, I shall contrive a busk of whalebone or small-grain'd wood to correkt her spine. I will teache her to suffer for the Lord.
What manner of wench could resist such an offer? I've always been a sucker for a tanner with several goode hats. See more vintage personal ads at McSweeney's

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