HOW TO WRITE WELL
Use semicolons freely; most readers will credit your erudition.
PLANNING A PARTY
One toilet per keg of beer.
COMPARING A DOG'S AGE TO A HUMAN'S AGE
The old rule--multiplying a dog's age by 7 to find the equivalent human age--is fallacious. A dog is able to reproduce at 1 year and has reached full growth by 2 years. To calculate a dog's age in human terms, count the first year as 15, the second year as 10, and each year after that as 5.
The advice on semi-colons seems sound. I remember changing my opinion of someone I'd considered illiterate when I saw him use a semi-colon. Yes, the way to a Nag's heart is through fancy punctuation.
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