Have the movie theatre experience at home

1. Pour Coke on the floor the previous night and allow to harden.
2. Garnish with wads of chewing gum.
3. Buy a DVD, but not the extended version.
4. Make popcorn, but put all the butter on one side of the bowl.
5. Set your cell phone to go off randomly throughout the film.
6. Place an obstacle that is taller than you, directly in front of your seat.
7. Throw popcorn at yourself.
8. Leer at yourself and flirt shamelessly.
9. Do not pause the DVD for bathroom breaks.
10. Ask yourself outloud what is happening. Do this every ten minutes.
11. Give away the ending to yourself.