Senior friendly apps

My contemporary, Don Mills, suggests some old folk friendly software:

The 4% Gratuity Calculator App

I’m tired of taking an abacus with me every time I go out for a meal. I’d like an app that allows me to plug in the cost of my supper and then automatically calculates a reasonable 4% tip. The app should always “round down” and have the ability to be reset to 3% or lower if my soup was watery or my waiter had a nose ring and gave me some sass.

The Bea Arthur Pin-up App (Mature Content)

Racy, granted, and not entirely to my taste but the boys at the senior’s center are clamoring for it and would gladly part with 99 cents in order to see some tasteful swimwear snaps of the lovely Bea Arthur.

The Young Person to Senior Translation App

I can’t understand anything these damned young people say and desperately need an app that will translate moronic greetings like “Yo cappy wuzzup nig” into the proper English phrase “Hello, sir, how are you today?” It may not close the generation gap but at least I’ll be able to tell if someone is asking me for directions or trying to mug me.

More cool apps at The Problem with Young People Today Is…