If I Wrote a Coronavirus Episode

Clockwise from top-right: Niles Crane in Frasier, Tracy Jordan in 30 Rock,
Sawyer in Lost, Olivia Benson in Law & Order: SVU,
Elmo in Sesame Street,
Coach Taylor in Friday Night Lights,
and Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation.
Photo: Richard A Chance

Vulture asked some TV writers how they think their characters would navigate social distancing? They came up with some very convincing episodes of some of our favourite shows. The 30 Rock piece by Sam Means is my favourite:

"Tracy has already contracted and survived the virus (“My snakes eat bats and then I use my snakes to practice French kissing, so it was inevitable, Liz Lemon!”), so he would declare himself an immune “green person” and set out to help. Tracy: “Like Mister Rogers said, ‘Look like the helpers.’” So, dressed as a firefighter, he would volunteer his time delivering illegal box jellyfish to the elderly.
Jack would try to get Liz to go to the secret GE island off the coast of Connecticut: “It will just be the top executives, any wives under 40, and yes, Lauer will be there, but only because it was built into his deal years ago.” Liz refuses to go because of her desire to be egalitarian but also because everyone would probably be barefoot. Pass. She would shelter in place like nobody’s business and still somehow dodge sex with James Marsden."  Read more of the 30 Rock Coronavirus episode here.

From Sesame Street to Frasier to Justified: Read lots more Coronavirus Episodes here