The Broker Bodega

The Broker Bodega: a Tumblr that shows ads for bodega items as if written by NYC real estate brokers.

~~ GOT MICE??? CHECK OUT THIS PRICE!!! ~~ «GARGANTUAN» 2-PACK (FLEX-3) IS NOT JUST GUARANTEED TO KILL, IT’S GUARANTEED TO ***THRILL***!!! ($4465)

- Cat-friendly (prrr)
- $2,500 mouse removal fee (per mouse)

PLOP, PLOP, GEE WHIZ!!!!!! *~TOTAL GUT RENOVATION~* 176 EFFERVESCENT TABLETS WITH ***NEW LOOK*** PACKAGING!!! YES ($3700)

- Sodium bicarbonate at a MONOCARBONATE price!!!
- In trendy DiGi district (Digestion)

★★SPECTACULAR★★ BROWNSTONE CANDY BAR!!! RIDICULOUSLY TREMENDOUS, EASILY CONVERTS INTO 12 BARS!!! WHAT?! **WILL NOT LAST, DON’T BE CHOCO-LATE! ;) ;)** ($4450)

- Stylish Pennsylvanian furnishes
- Applicants must consume 40x calories/day to qualify

Via