Niagara's Own War Of The Roses

A St. Catharines judge thinks he's a comedian (actually he's not half bad):

ST. CATHARINES — In a decision that starts with the line, "Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud," a St. Catharines judge told a warring couple "immune to reason" that he was trying ridicule as a last resort.

Judge Joseph Quinn's family court decision said the Niagara couple's volatile custody and access dispute was another example of parties requiring therapeutic intervention rather than legal attention.

"Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder requiring treatment," he writes in the lively Nov. 29 decision, released this month.

Quinn wrote the likelihood of an amicable resolution is "laughable."

"If only the wedding guests, who tinkled their wine glasses as encouragement for the traditional bussing of the bride and groom, could see the couple now," Quinn mused.

He added in a footnote: "I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts."

The couple, who were married for 11 years and have two children, separated for the final time in 2006 but have not divorced.

The wife now lives with her husband's former best friend and co-worker, along with his children and her children. The husband lives one kilometre away with his common-law spouse and her three children.

The source of their difficulty is a "hardened, harmful, high-octane hatred," Quinn wrote, detailing their fractious split, which included the wife turning their daughter against the husband, who may have had an "infidelity gene."

Among evidence Quinn listened to over the seven-day trial was testimony from the husband that the wife threatened his life, including trying to run him over with a van.

"This is always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart," Quinn wrote....

More divorce humour at Welland Tribune