Cruel Nicknames for Overweight Vampires.

Count Chocoholic
Vampire the Buffet Slayer
Cholesteratu
The Vampurgler
The Vampire Lestop For Some Tacos
Vlad the Inhaler
Child Of Candy Cain
Quiche Lilith
Ghoulash
Queen of the Hammed
Taco Bela
Bela Obesi
Transylvania 6-5000 Calories
Dick Cheney
Das Vhoppyr

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
Via