Position Available: Associate Sidekick
Time Commitment: Full-time, in both past and future timeframes. Work during the present will be 40 hours per week. Misuse of the Time Machine to pad timesheets will not be tolerated.
Experience: 0–1 years. Previous experience as henchman a plus. Colonial Williamsburg does not count towards experience; it is an American abomination, historically inaccurate, and overpriced.
Serious inquiries only. There will be no amateur Mr. Peabody shenanigans; this is a serious and devious endeavor with extremely high stakes. There will be no historical lesson-learning or slow-motion-erasing Hollywood-style special effects. Impudence will not be tolerated and punishment will be quick and severe. Your insolence will result in my travelling back in time with you, bound and gagged, forcing you to rewatch your childhood, especially the many wedgies and pantsings suffered at the hands of hulking dunces, which both enrages and emboldens you, thus driving you to use your towering intellect for evil, always for evil.
Still interested? Read more about this position at Y.P.R.
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