Riddle me this...

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow. In truth my life has been an unending social whirl since leaving work last week, luncheons, dinners, weddings... It's a good thing I'm retired cause I no longer have time to work. Also referring to me as "my wife, the retiree" makes Mr. Nag feel young, or at least younger than me (which he is not). I was determined not to buy a new dress for this event despite the fact that I am still grasso from all the buon alimento ingested on my trip to Sicily in April. If I have to squeeze myself into an outfit with a shoehorn then by god I'll do it rather than spend money on something I'll likely never wear again since I plan to lose all that weight really soon (don't smirk). I pulled two dresses from the nether regions of my closet - two pretty floral patterned ones bought at the Ralph Lauren outlet at deep discount long ago. Which was the best fit? Why the size 4 assymetrical hem beauty! The size 8 sheath was uncomfortably tight. What's up with that? Tell me why a a size 8 would be so much smaller than a size 4 by the same designer. The last time I was a size 4 was in 1991 when, after a serious illness, I weighed 89 pounds. I must have bought this dress in a fit of optimism or more likely couldn't pass up a bargain, fit be damned. Do you reckon this bizarre reverse sizing is an effort by the ever compassionate fashion industry to make rounder folk feel better about themselves? Yeah right.