A Message to Amerikkka From Punxsutawney X

I was going to do a dull little bit on groundhog day but, after yesterday's shoutout from my homey, Uncorrected Proofs, I feel obliged to do something a little more edgy and left-wing. Let's look at groundhog day from the view of radical rodent, Punxsutawney X.

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, and as usual, Punxsutawney Phil will do his bit in accordance with the wishes of his human overseers. Fucking Stepin Fetchit. Groundhog has no business working for the Man.
Tomorrow, Uncle Phil will pretend to see his shadow. But you know what he'll really be seeing? A Dream, in which he is rich and famous and snorting white powder off the bare ass of Kate Moss.
Wake up, fool. Ain't never gonna happen. The Man is using you. Like a fool tool. And when he's done using you, you going into the frying pan. Just like all your proud groundhog brothers out waging the good fight against the oppression and tyranny you do your little play-act to prop up.
Just say no, Phil. Tomorrow, bite somebody. Refuse to come out of your hole. Give the Black Power salute. Stand proud. Do it for your brothers and your children and the children of your Brothers.
Fight the Power. By any means necessary.

Downtrodden rodents - my new cause.
In related news Wiarton Willie, Shubenacadie Sam in Nova Scotia and Punxsutawney Phil in Punxsutawney, Pa., failed to see their shadows today.

Via Beancounters