Don't Send Me One Of These

For some reason I get regular emails from Hallmark at work and I delete them. Perhaps I should take the time to read them. This line of cards is unbelievable!

• A friend has cancer? No problem. Just send him/her this blythe greeting:
• No one said it would be easy to lose your hair. But knowing you, you'll find a way to turn this situation around and use it as a badge of honor. What you really mean to say is: "Trust you to turn everything to your own advantage."
• Buddy lost his job? This'll make him feel better:
• I'm sorry you lost your job, but please remember that your job is not who you are. You have many great qualities, and that's what really matters. What you really mean to say is "So stop griping about where your next meal is coming from. Nobody likes a whiner."
• I'm sure your fertility-challenged friend will feel better when she reads this message from you:
• I wish I could make things happen for you the way you want them to. I know how much a child would mean to you. What you really mean to say is: "Everyone knows you desperately want a child- you never shut up about it."
  

Can you imagine going to the Hallmark store and choosing just the right greeting for one of life's more challenging moments, buying a stamp and mailing it to a friend? You can? Well, if I'm that friend, I swear I'll delete you from my address book.

Link Via Toner Mishap