Register Your Sissy Boy For Vacation Bible Gun Camp!

What can I do to help my child have a great camp experience?
Fathers, before your boy leaves for camp, privately discuss the importance your church family's reputation. Make sure that he is fully aware that if he does anything to embarrass you or the Lord this summer, Jesus will tell on him and you will beat his little bare behind with a rusty buckle and have him shipped off to a Russian orphanage when he gets home. Let him know that you didn't raise him to be a sissy or a cry-baby so if you get word that any of that nonsense is going on, he'll have to find a new Daddy when he gets back from camp, because you don't want him to be your son anymore.

Via Wood's Lot