More tongue-in-cheek juxtapositions from Harper's:
" Britain planned to kill one third of its wild badger population--about 100,000 badgers--in order to slow the spread of bovine tuberculosis; critics of the plan argued that slaughtering badgers will speed the spread of bovine tuberculosis. Mad cow disease was found in Alabama,where three college students were arrested for setting nine churches on fire. One of the students, Benjamin Moseley, was planning to appear in a school theater production called 'Young Zombies in Love.'A sociology professor at Suffolk University, Boston, was suspended after being caught browsing Internet porn sites while teaching a class; he was unaware that his computer was connected to a display behind him.In Licking County, Ohio, a man was accused of making 2,623 obscene phone calls over 20 days, and in Arizona a 52-year-old Deputy Fire Chief named Leroy Johnson was seen dragging a lamb into a neighbor's barn. The lamb's owner, Alan Goats, entered the barn to confront Johnson. 'You caught me, Alan,' said Johnson, zipping up his wet pants. 'I tried to fuck your sheep.' Police described the victim as small, gray, three feet tall, and four feet long.Two British preschools were criticized for having children sing 'Baa baa rainbow sheep.' 'There are much better ways,' said a representative of another preschool, 'of addressing these issues.'Details from recently released Guantanamo Bay transcripts continued to emerge. 'We lost our goats,' explained one prisoner. 'That's why we were looking through binoculars.Yanni was arrested for allegedly hitting his girlfriend."
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