APRONS

Russell Smith is worried that his apron will not pass muster:
"Do you have an apron in your kitchen? Best Dressed researchers have determined that large numbers of women will form quick judgments about your attractiveness and suitability based on this simple item. Owning an apron bespeaks adult sophistication. "
Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe that guys who write about aprons really give a damn about what women think.
Once, long ago, I read one of Russell Smith's novels (How Insensitive) and kind of liked it. The protagonist was an insecure young Maritimer trying to make it in the sophisticated big city and one could almost, but not quite, feel his pain. I read his column on "Aprons" (WTF?) and decided to check out his website to see if this guy is for real, or what? Turns out he's pimping himself out for $65.00 an hour as some kind of fashion consultant! Seems kind of bargain basement (the consultants I know charge at least $100.00 per hour and some of them aren't even very good). I think this stinks of loser, but I'm a little "casual" about my appearance so what do I know? I don't hobnob with royalty and have not been the recipient of any major awards lately (due mainly to the poor judgement of others, I'm certain). Therefore I don't require his refined expertise but will share these details with my more dandified readers as a public service:

Russell Smith's deep knowledge of the sartorial requirements of every situation, as well as familiarity with recent fashion trends, enable him to offer personal on-site image consulting.
He will travel to wherever you are, evaluate your current wardrobe and help you find and shop for any items of clothing or personal style, whether formal, business-related or casual. He will see purchases of tailored items through to their final fitting.
He specializes in occasions: the wedding suit, the visit with royalty, the awards ceremony. Or he can suggest simple changes to subtly update your everyday look.
He also offers help with etiquette and protocol, particularly in formal situations.
The fee for this service is $65 (CDN) per hour, plus travel expenses.
Contact mailto:russellsmith@sympatico.ca

Should I let the Globe know that this guy is a pretentious twat?