Christmas at the Clinic

Some legitimate medical journals took a break from their serious work and diagnosed the “ailments” of some of our favourite Christmas characters. They started with Mr. Claus:

Image : Jonathan G Meath

Patient: “Mr. S. Claus”
Medical Issues: Unknown— it’s unclear whether Santa has ever undergone a physical exam, let alone had one in recent years. For this reason, Dr. Y. Ingrid Goh of Toronto, Ontario, referred the patient to one Dr. Yull Tyde and asked that he be checked for signs of respiratory problems and thermal burns (from sliding up and down sooty, smoky chimneys, some of which are probably hot); frostbite and hypothermia (from traveling in an open vehicle in the middle of night in winter); indigestion, heartburn, obesity, and hyperglycemia (Santa binges on milk and cookies at every stop); and obsessive-compulsive disorder (he makes lists and checks them twice).

Physician’s Notes: “It is highly recommended that Mr. Claus consider an alternative mode of transportation and adopt a healthier lifestyle… Please ask him to consider an alternative route of entrance… In addition, please ensure that his herd of reindeer has been vaccinated against rabies virus.” (Canadian Medical Association Journal, December 2004)

They also analyze Rudolph and The Grinch.

More: Neatorama