Oh no, the family is arriving in five minutes and I forgot to put the turkey in the oven! Whatever shall I do? Cooking a twenty-five pound turkey in under thirty seconds with ten pounds of thermite. (Best done outdoors).
Okay, I've given the co-ordinates of the field to the air-force. the lamb will be shorn early on sunday morning, and sent off to gambol around the field with a foil jacket packed with potatoes, garlic- butter, rosemary, and a few other herbs. Oh. and a target-homing device The fire-mission is at 18.35 gmt.
Oh, now, come on, it's so quick the lamb doesn't feel a thing. Last year's little mishap was, well, collateral damage. I'm very sorry about farmer Brown and his family. but....mmmmm... it DOES taste like pork....
Ha Ha Ha, I love it.
ReplyDeleteDon't try this at home.
ReplyDeleteStill looked a bit raw inside. Maybe needs another half pound of thermite
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you were a chef, Soubriquet. You are a man of many talents.
ReplyDeleteYou should try my famous napalm and rosemary roast lamb.
ReplyDeleteIs Sunday OK?
ReplyDeleteOkay, I've given the co-ordinates of the field to the air-force. the lamb will be shorn early on sunday morning, and sent off to gambol around the field with a foil jacket packed with potatoes, garlic- butter, rosemary, and a few other herbs. Oh. and a target-homing device
ReplyDeleteThe fire-mission is at 18.35 gmt.
Is the title of your next book Cooking With Cruelty?
ReplyDeleteOh, now, come on, it's so quick the lamb doesn't feel a thing.
ReplyDeleteLast year's little mishap was, well, collateral damage. I'm very sorry about farmer Brown and his family. but....mmmmm... it DOES taste like pork....